GorillaSushi Moonlights

My Moth Day ladies. Pre BBQ.

Sun, 12 May 2013 19:59:20 -0500

My Moth Day ladies. Pre BBQ.

Things they don’t tell you about parenthood #847: Fucked...

Thu, 09 May 2013 14:12:19 -0500

Things they don’t tell you about parenthood #847: Fucked up irrational fears

You haven’t texted your stay-at-home-mom wife all morning until now and she doesn’t respond right away and that’s not too unusual but maybe this time it’s because she’s incapacitated or dead and the baby’s crying and there’s no one there to help and the cat’s probably already trying to eat both of them and maybe the oven was left on and OMG THE BABY IS CRYING AND IT’S TOO SAD AND I FEEL SICK AND I’M GOING TO PASS OUT AND… oh. She texted me back. nbd.

Wrong number but now I’m wondering… maybe I do want...

Wed, 08 May 2013 18:14:23 -0500

Wrong number but now I’m wondering… maybe I do want a dub.

mattsbrickgallery: Lego kitchen backsplash. So tempting.

Tue, 07 May 2013 13:54:53 -0500

mattsbrickgallery:

Lego kitchen backsplash.

So tempting.

The Parking Lot Movie (on Netflix Streaming) A simple...

Fri, 03 May 2013 13:08:24 -0500

The Parking Lot Movie (on Netflix Streaming)

A simple documentary film, presenting a small parking lot as a metaphor for the human condition. Surprisingly unpretentious and heartwarming. Super recommended.

You go to the doctor for a scheduled checkup and he asks ”Is she...

Fri, 03 May 2013 10:08:14 -0500

You go to the doctor for a scheduled checkup and he asks ”Is she doing this?” and you reply “She’s been doing this for months!” He asks “Is she doing that?” You laugh and say “She does that x10!” Then he asks “Is she doing the other thing?” and you worry yourself sick for the next few weeks because “the other thing” must surely be an important milestone and something’s terribly wrong.

It was like that with clapping. So much worry about her motor skills, apparently for nothing.

She still kinda sucks at clapping.

Some days I’d rather stay home and play with boxes and do...

Fri, 03 May 2013 06:59:06 -0500

Some days I’d rather stay home and play with boxes and do hairstyles.

Photo

Wed, 01 May 2013 16:16:48 -0500

getoutoftherecat: unimpressedcats: I am a...

Wed, 01 May 2013 12:39:04 -0500

getoutoftherecat:

unimpressedcats:

I am a tooth

no.

Don’t be tooth.

Josie’s springtime sausage pants.

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 15:23:37 -0500

Josie’s springtime sausage pants.

Ear candling.

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 16:20:09 -0500

Ear candling.

HOLIDAY INN LOBBY IS EMPTY.

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 13:56:46 -0500

TOTAL BULLSHIT.

TAKING MY CHILD AND LEAVING FOREVER.

TT

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 14:31:39 -0500

thejohnblog:

I am going to be really sad and missing all of you people when those CHSH pics start rolling in.

Someone eat a pot roast sandwich for me and kiss Jason for me.

Not necessarily in that order.

About 90% of every weekday is spent missing these two.

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 11:51:16 -0500

About 90% of every weekday is spent missing these two.

reasonsmysoniscrying: His brother pretended to sing for one...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 10:38:24 -0500

reasonsmysoniscrying:

His brother pretended to sing for one second.

New favorite Tumblr.

Weekend in an alternate universe.

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 10:00:48 -0500

Weekend in an alternate universe.

jezebelthegreat: Bacon-wrapped Easter eggs. I married well. My...

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 19:00:00 -0500

jezebelthegreat:

Bacon-wrapped Easter eggs. I married well.

My mom always makes Scotch eggs (eggs wrapped in sausage) but my parents couldn’t make it this weekend . Hard boil eggs, wrap about half a strip of bacon around lengthwise then tightly wrap a full strip in a spiraling pattern. Place loose end down on a baking tray a bake for 30 min at 325. Drain grease and cook another 10 minutes at 425 to get them crispy.

And now I'm playing the game in my head

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 16:10:56 -0500

where I fill in the blank for “Strap on dicks for _______”

• Liberty and justice
• Profit
• tress

I was looking for a strap for my kid’s sunglasses and...

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 15:52:50 -0500

I was looking for a strap for my kid’s sunglasses and things got weird.

Dear Postal Service,

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 09:27:08 -0500

You need to make more money. We both know it. So, I’ve got an idea for you. It’s one of the many business ideas that I keep in my head but I’m giving this one to you because, let’s be honest, I’m more dreamer than doer. And by “giving it to you,” I mean putting it on the internet so you can read it, adopt it, and shower me with thanks because that’s how the world works.

[TL;DR] Offer a service that allows people to send me mail without knowing my home address. You know, kind of like internets but with paper.

It’s not a free idea. There will be set-up, maintenance, adaptation and most importantly, marketing. However, you can set your own prices to ensure profit. Also, automation is key.

Here’s what the end-result looks like: I go to your website, sign up for an account, and enter all of my address info. I pay nothing. I’m given a code to distribute to friends and strangers alike. Something akin to a phone number. They can now send me a letter, addressed only with that code and it will reach my door just like normal mail. Senders will have to pay a little more to use the service. Double stamps? A special, slightly more expensive stamp? Your call.

With proper marketing, everyone will be putting their mail codes on their Facebook accounts right next to their pretentious movie quotes.

Now I can say “Hey, I know you’re guarded with your address but I want to send you a Xmas card. If you go here and sign up, you can give me a code and I can send you this card with a sweet fucking baby reindeer on it and I won’t have the option of using Google maps to judge your roof/lawn maintenance.”