The word “recyclist” originated in my birthday year, meaning… One who recycles.
I’ve never heard anyone use it and my phone wants to autocorrect it to recycles.
punkster, n. Meaning: A fan or performer of punk rock; = punk rocker n.
i couldn’t be more satisfied with my results.
guilt trip, n. Meaning: An episode of severe, often excessive or unjustified self-reproach, esp. one deliberately provoked by another person; Freq. in to lay a guilt trip on when you have a big penis. Like large penis. Out the door penis.
Maybe this thing isn’t working right.
megastar, n. Meaning: An exceptionally famous, well-publicized, or successful celebrity, esp. in the entertainment business.
laugh-out-loud, adj. Meaning: Meaning: Likely to cause one to laugh out loud; hilarious.
brainiac, n. Meaning: A very intelligent person; an expert.
We hired Salesman X a few months ago to “help turn the company around.” He commutes from Minnesota every other week and he’s the highest paid employee by far.
Yesterday Salesman X decided to use his own money for pay for a Xmas lunch because the company couldn’t afford it. His motivations were somewhat suspect but no one was going to turn down free food. The caterer showed up with white linens, silverware, bread pudding, chicken, green beans, salad and fancy dips. It was a real classy spread but because it was so expansive, it had to be set up in the shop, near the small break room and shop bathrooms.
It took about 45 minutes for the caterer guy to get everything prepared but just before calling everyone to eat, there appeared a torrent of chunky brown water flowing out of the bathrooms and break room. The sewer had backed up.
There was a 50 ft wide lake of shit-water about 5 feet from the buffet.
Maintenance was quick to clean it up but the smell and the memories lingered. We all felt bad for Salesman X because his fancy lunch literally got shit on.
After lunch, Salesman X flew home to Minnesota, sat down in his home office and died. Literally. We got word this morning.
Sometimes you’ll be thinking about something weird. Like you’re working on a joke or forming an opinion and you suddenly have the luxury of an uninterrupted train of thought so the train goes barelling through downtown weirdsville, switching tracks and plowing through unsuspecting houses.
Eventually you find yourself thinking about how “blob of vaginas” is a really great phrase and you decide to yank on the hand-brake and get back to work.
But first you put it on Tumblr because “blob of vaginas” is a really great phrase.